It is not halloween...

I walked in the house and found you staring at yourself in the mirror.  I didn't realize until you turned around that you looked like this.  I could tell by the professionalism of the mustache that it was NOT done by you!  Isabella confessed and said but mama... he is just SOOOOO cute now.  I said ISABELLA.. IT'S NOT HALLOWEEN AND THAT WAS NOT A WASHABLE MARKER!

this... this WAS halloween.  Meet my little cow kids. :)

in the same boat!

I loved spending my sunday evening with all of you.  I can't say your name without saying miss Shelby (steel magnolias).... so.. miss Shelby THANK YOU.  Thanks for letting me chase all your little ones around.  They make me smile and make my heart full.  And boy are we in the same boat with our boys.  It's so comforting to have someone who understands what stage in life I'm in.  I'm glad we can laugh together about them!  You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.  Thanks for sharing your family with me.  

and... drew... I can only say sorry.  :)  we will never make you go through that again.  until next year.  

my how you've grown.

Miss Tatum.  You are SO stinkin cute!  Seriously!  You make my work so easy.  I'm so glad your mommy and daddy bring you and come see me every year.  I'm grateful to have known them my entire life.  You are such a beautiful reflection of them. 

You Shine...

I had so much fun with Lauren on her senior shoot!  She was so fun and sweet.  God was so good to give us such great weather for her shoot.  I pray you enjoy every moment of this last year in Chandler.  

You are SEVEN!!!!

My sweet Isabella... you are seven.  You are beautiful.  You are kind.  You are lovable.  You are my girl.  You are an amazing big and little sister.  You are exactly who God created you to be.  I hope you always know how much my heart loves you.  I hope you always know how proud I am of you.  I hope you always know I have prayed for you every day of your life.  I am so thankful to God for giving you  to us.  My sweet Isabella.

october 21st.

i can't go to bed without telling the first love of my life.. happy birthday.  you would be 84 today.  i can't even imagine that.  it sounds old.  but you were never old.  you had the most energy of any person i knew.  and always full of hope.  even if today was a good day, tomorrow would be better.  october is so full of you.  maybe that is why it is my very favorite month.  i have faith that you are having an incredible day.  seeing the most amazing things.  being loved by all the ones who went before you.  while you are there waiting on us... i know that you know we think of you everyday.  you are always in my heart.  always will be.  you are missed.

happy birthday my daddy.

today...

as i left for my walk this morning.. i looked up and there it was.  it was so close i thought i could touch it.  it was for me today.  only me.  it was telling me.... it's going to be ok.

it was an airplane.

one of the many my daddy flew.

i woke up full of sadness.  wishing that daddy was here with us today.  wishing that he could continue his life with my mama... the love of his life.  wishing that he was here to see how incredible my sister and her kids are.  wishing he could see the life scott and mary have made and how hard they work.  wishing he could see all that billy has done in his life and how determined he is... (exactly like daddy himself).  wishing he could see what all jeremy has created.  wishing he could see how jude has his sense of humor and isabella has his heart.  wishing he could meet sweet and ornery dudley... he would just laugh and laugh at him.  wishing he could see that everyday i remember everything he taught me about life.  i just woke up with tears.

after all.... it has happened.  i can't even remember the sound of his voice.

six years ago we said goodbye.  goodbye to the pain of alzheimer's we all had endured.  but also.. goodbye to you.  in a whole lifetime i couldn't imagine what that was going to be like.

then.. the airplane.  i just couldn't be sad.  i was just so thankful.  so overwhelmed with thankfulness.  

today i am going to choose to be thankful.  i am going to choose joy.  today i am going to remember my daddy and his unbelievable life.