oh my.

oh my.  dudley... you are such a sweetie.  i laugh with you everyday.  you are such a funny little guy.  you remind us so much of jude....yet you still have so many qualities that are all your own.  you still play with cars.... all. the. time.   you are starting to really like books (mostly about cars and trucks).  you are learning your colors.  yay.  you almost have them down!!  you have sooooooo much energy.  daddy and i are reminded everyday that we are getting older because of all of your energy. you want to walk every night on our walks instead of being in your stroller.  you want to be where your sister and brother are all the time.  i fear you will be sooo sad when they go back to school.  you say "sunshine hold you" every night.  that is our time... i hold you and sing you are my sunshine.  it is one of the best parts of my day.  i hope you know how much i love you.  i hope you know how much i have prayed for you.  i hope you know that you have made our family better.  tired... definitely tired... and better.

You are learning.

You are learning.

This was your first time to mow.  I loved watching Daddy teach you what to do.  I loved watching him teach you how to be safe.  I loved watching him teach you responsibility.  Your daddy is the hardest working man I know (... just like my daddy).  You will learn so many things from him this life.  I pray that you will always know how much he loves you.  I pray that you become a great man... just like your daddy.

it was mothers day...

It was mothers day.  It started as any other day.  I had in my mind "this is my day.. I will relax today".  Hmm..... that didn't last long.  I mean .. come on.. I have a two year old.  I did enjoy a breakfast made by my family and then... dishes and cleaning and working on our never ending project home.. and cleaning and getting groceries.  

Hmmm... not much relaxing happened.  I could tell I was getting frustrated.  I mean.. again... It was my day.  

BUT then... we decided on a picnic in our front yard.  I sat and watched my beautiful children run around and laugh and play and tease and get upset and laugh again and play again....  I thought to myself... these are the people who made me this celebrated name.  They made me more happy than I ever thought I could be.  They made me more scared than I ever thought I could be.  They made me laugh more, pray more, cry more, love more, go crazy more, dance more, read more, joke more, scream more, ache more, dream more and hope more.  

They are part of me.  I am part of them.  

So.... why did I ever think I would relax.  :)  Mothers day is like any other day.  I am a mother every day and will be for the rest of my life.  I thank God that he gave them to me.  I thank God that He is in control of their lives.  I thank God that I get to be a small part of who they become.  

I will always thank God for mothers day.... and for every other day of the year.  

I love you Jude Samuel.

I love you Isabella D'ann.

I love you Dudley Paul.

You will always have my heart....  forever... mama.

growing up..and I don't like it.

My sweet Isabella D'ann.... you are growing up so fast.  It was just a couple of weeks ago you said... "mama, I want to grow my bangs out."  I wasn't sure why that hit me so hard but it did.  Then I figured it out.  I remembered when I said the same thing to my mama.  You are growing up so fast.  There are moments when I wish I could take you and keep you small forever.  And then there are times when I love that you love to shop with me or go to lunch with me or just hang out together.  I hope you always remember what I have told you your entire life... pretty on the inside makes pretty on the outside.  You are so beautiful.  Those eyes that pierce my soul... that cute as a button nose.. those perfect eyebrows any grown woman would love... those rose shaded lips.... But the thing that shines through the most is your spirit.  You are the most giving child I know.  Truly.  Any time you earn money or you are given money...you always get something for your brothers with it.  Always.  Even friday when I picked you up from school and you finally got to "shop" in the "store" your teacher had created.... with money YOU earned for the last few months (by doing things in the classroom)....you got 2 things for your brothers.  I'm telling you.. that melted my heart.  

Thank you for being kind and loving and YOU.  Don't ever be afraid to be exactly how you are... God did an amazing job when He created you.  Amazing.  

keeping these moments with me.

It doesn't happen very often.  The moments where you stop and let me snuggle with you.  But yesterday you did... you came up to me and just let me hold you.  I remember standing in front of the mirror and holding you.  I just thought how lucky I was to be at home with you.  How blessed I was to be able to snuggle and have you snuggle back.  I remember thinking ... I will keep this with me forever.   I love you... my dudley paul.  

16 years ago....

16 years ago you were born.  16 years ago I became an aunt for the first time. 16 years ago I became KIKI.  16 years ago I learned what it meant to adore someone.

Carson.  Happy Birthday.  Happy 16th birthday.  I can't believe it.  I still remember walking into that hospital room and meeting you for the first time.  Looking at my sister and thinking how amazing she was... and how beautiful you were.  You and me... we were always buddies.

I hope you know how proud kuku and I are of you.  You are the sweetest 16 year old boy I could imagine.

I know life has amazing things in store for you.

Happy 16th... we love you.  More than words.

kiki

TWO.

you are two.  

you are beautiful.

you are fun.

you are a stinker.

you are strong.

you are sweet.

you are trying.

you are fast.

you are incredible.

you are love.

you are a good idea.

happy birthday... my birthday boy.

all my heart.  forever.  mama.